Tuesday, January 13, 2009

4 Days in January

So, the last few weeks have not been the most pleasant picnic that you could imagine. Stresses of work & the holidays in general have taken a heavy toll on me as one would expect, but it has been another reality that has hit me in the face harder than I wanted...but this was all under my control.

I had to make some decisions that I had never made before and while they hurt me terribly, they were the correct ones. Standing on solid ground feels good- especially when it is a foundation that you created. The pain is still there though and it will linger on for the foreseeable future.

I had a friend come to visit me this weekend. It has been the nicest number of days off that I can remember in a long time. It could not have been better. Getting me out of my house was easier than I thought. I experienced things and feelings that have been dormant and I wonder why I have sequestered myself for so long. I have also been able to talk about events of the past months or so with positive feedback for my actions given to me. Reinforcement of difficulties that I had a hand in creating, but ended on my own terms has been gratifying.

I am taking my friend to the airport later today. I am saddened that the trip was so short and our distance apart is so great, but I find my heart less heavy with new strength to continue on.

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